Category Archives: Philosophy

Self-esteem and the inner monologue

Eckart Tolle Stillness speaksPeople can speak nonstop for hours – with themselves.  They speak with themselves even when they are working, engaged in athletics or just playing around.  There is almost no moment without this inner monologue.

Sometimes they become aware of their inner voice and listen to its endless stream of words.  Most often though they unconsciously turn daily problems over and over in their mind.

Are these inner monologues known to you?

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An esteemful personality: Charlie Chaplin

Charlie ChaplinCharlie Chaplin may have been the ultimate cinematic comedian.  In the last three quarters of a century his work lifted the spirits of countless people around the world.

But Chaplin was more than just a clown.   His words were thoughtful and genuine and worth listening to.  He used the medium of film to speak about important human topics.

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Are you a judgment-fearing person?

self-esteemI think every person is in a way or in some parts of their lives judgment-fearing. What does that mean?

It means that you are fearing what others are thinking about you. People with high self-esteem know that they are unique, that there is no way they could be compared to anybody else. Your uniqueness expresses itself also in the certainty that nobody outside yourself can really know who you are. It doesn’t matter to them what others think about them.

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Self-esteem means self-respect

self-respectSometimes it’s difficult to explain what self-esteem means because the word “esteem” is rarely used as a daily word. Esteem has the same con-notion as respect. So self-esteem is the same as self-respect.

Self-respect means that you believe in your own integrity, in your own worth and dignity. The same definition you can give to self-esteem. Esteem means nothing else than integrity, worth and dignity.

Self-esteem or self-respect means knowing that you are equal to every other being on the planet. You are unique as a very valuable personality. You can’t compare yourself to anybody else. There is no other person like you.

Are self-esteem and narcissism the same?

Actually, no. There are huge differences between self-esteem and narcissism.

Self-esteem means realizing the true value of yourself. You can do that by knowing that your are special as special as everybody else. Not two people on the world are the same. Everybody is unique in his personality, in his talents and expressions. Having a healthy self-esteem means to acknowledge this fact. You know your value, your talents, your uniqueness in a very healthy way.

Narcissism on the other hand is all about praising oneself over just everything one does or says. Narcissism basically refers to the thought of being superior.

self-esteem and narcissism

Narcissism needs comparisons for its growth and competition to prove itself while self-esteem knows that comparisons are simply not possible and competitions are not necessary in order to find out one’s uniqueness.

Learn to tolerate your self-esteem

This might sound a little out there “Learn to tolerate your self-esteem”, but it actually nails it.

I recently read this post of Mike Bundrant and found that it’s one of the best about self-esteem I’ve read in a long time. This is what he essentially said. For more details click on the link.

Low self-esteem is usually due to a psychological attachment to being perceived in a negative light. By constantly seeing you in a negative light you learned a powerful lesson – that your existence is a negative.

The real problem though lies in the fact that as child you trusted the opinion of others and now you continue to trust the judgments of others. At this point, the black hole of negativity in your psyche is quite powerful and you may have a very difficult time shaking the emotional attachment to all the negativity.

self-esteemSo seeing this what can you do? The key is to realize that your tendency to do things that prove your low self-esteem are based on a false indoctrination, one that you continue to give yourself in the present.

One of the steps Mike Bundrant is speaking of is to learn to tolerate the self-esteem. Happiness and self-respect take some getting used to so that you can trust them. Patience and tolerance for success are the key points in order to create positive psychological attachments.

The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion

Well, the main question is: is there a difference at all between self-esteem and self-compassion. It depends on how we define the two.

Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. Do you feel generally good about yourself, then your self-esteem is considered to be high. Self-compassion on the other hand is about how kind we treat ourselves.

self-compassion self-esteem

The core of the general discussion points toward the fact that self-esteem can weaken and strengthen through events that happen in life. Self-compassion though stays constant and keeps the person balanced in inner calmness. This means self-esteem can be low or high while self-compassion is present or not.

The question you might answer in order to find out if your self-compassion is there in your life is: Do you understand that negative events just occur in life which sometimes can’t be avoided? If you say yes, your self-compassion is present.

If you answer yes to this question: Do you feel that your value in life and self-esteem is lowered because the bad experience you had to make could have been avoided? Then you deal solely with your self-esteem that you consider do be changeable through your life.

What is the Self?

We speak about self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image, but what does “Self” really mean?

Recently I read some thoughts about the Self from Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. who explains the self referring of “how you judge yourself, how you think others judge you, how you imagine and think about your body, and what you believe others think of you. In a matter of speaking, the self refers to “what it’s like to be you.” The self is a mental model you have of yourself, an idea, a concept or way of thinking.”

self-confidence and self-esteem

He also mentions another thought: “What it is like to be you is something that is not static. It changes over time. It’s the result of your experiences. However, there is nothing solid about the self. In reality, it’s a construct, an idea, a mental model you have of yourself, an idea, a concept or way of thinking. As such, it is fluid, it changes over time.”

What do you think?

Selfday – International Self-Esteem Day

Attitude specialist Janice Davies  has created the annual international Self Esteem Day recently renamed Selfday, to be celebrated on June the 26th. As the president of International Council of Self Esteem, this year the event in spreading to 140 countries around the world.

Selfday aims to inspire the practice of self belief and confidence globally. The charitable non-profit organization is dedicated  to create awareness and motivate action to help enhance human effectiveness and to build healthy self confidence.

Davis says: “Everyone can learn to believe or re-believe in themselves and especially in this climate remind themselves they may not have caused the event though they are experiencing it. Unless one does, we function from a place of fear and scarcity which often manifests in the opposite of what most of us truly desire.”

The Selfday reminds everybody to take care of themselves, to take care of their self-esteem. The best way to do that is to give esteem to others.