Esteem is not easily angered

anger and how to overcome with zenWhat happens when we’re angry?  Anger is a normal human expression of a feeling of displeasure.  Anger can arise out of sadness or frustration.  We even have bodily reactions of muscle tension and increased heart rate.

When we integrate esteem into our daily life it doesn’t mean that we won’t feel any anger anymore.  But when we express our anger appropriately we deal with it in a healthy way.  This is one way esteem helps us in dealing properly with anger.

But esteem goes further.  When we live esteem we live patience and understanding toward others and ourselves.  This leads us to an understanding of the mechanism of anger.

Internalized esteem gives us the necessary calmness to realize that anger isn’t the answer.  Nobody can make us angry – it’s always us choosing this kind of response to a situation.

Esteem isn’t easily angered because with esteem we become self-conscious and calm.  We’re unflappable.

By adopting this attitude we can even see how our esteem calms others.  When we see those around us reacting calmly to an unfriendly situation or word, it makes us feel good for our part.

The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger

anger and how to overcome with zen

Book Facts

  • Authors: Susan Edmiston, Leonard Scheff
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; 1 edition (June 24, 2010)
  • Paperback, also available as ebook
  • 197 pages

We’re a society that is swimming in anger, always about to snap. Leonard Scheff, a trial attorney, once used anger to fuel his court persona, until he came to realize just how poisonous anger is. That and his intense study of Buddhism and meditation changed him. His transformation can be summarized in a simple parable: Imagine you are circling a crowded parking lot when, just as you spot a space, another driver races ahead and takes it. Easy to imagine the rage. But now imagine that instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into that parking space and settled down. The anger dissolves into bemusement. What really changed? You―your perspective.

Reader reviews

Great book with short bites of wisdoms. An easy read with an uplifting slant on life.

I strongly recommend this book. I slowly read the book over and over. It’s beautifully written in an easy-to-understand way, yet very profound. I’ve since gone on to read many more books about anger and enlightenment, but when I need a reboot I always refer to my notes and highlights in The Cow in the Parking Lot.

This is a nice easy read which helps you refocus and think about ‘how’ you think/approach daily events. I found it useful and a nice reminder to live a little kinder.


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