Dalai Lama once said: “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful, a meaningful friend – a meaningful day.”
Change is the only constant in life. Everything changes. Our friends change, our life circumstances change, even we change.
Esteem tells us to give meaning to each single moment. When we give esteem to people and to life situations we appreciate them for the moment. Esteem happens always in the moment, never after or before it. When the moment passes, there is a new opportunity to give esteem to somebody else or to another life moment.
Esteem doesn’t hang on to certain people or certain life moments. This means that esteem takes each new day, and every new moment as a new possibility to create new appreciation. When we live esteem we make each single day meaningful, and we make the people around us meaningful.
We don’t change other people, people change themselves. But a healthy self-esteem can be a positive example to encourage others to make their own changes.
Having a high self-esteem means that we are self-confident in what we are and what we do in a healthy way. This means that we don’t overestimate our abilities but that we have a deep self-understanding of failure and success as being part of our life. This life wisdom emerges from a high self-esteem and can help people around us to undertake the effort for a positive change in their own lives.
We often experience that it’s easier to lead by example than by words. When people see us handling life situations calmly and self-confidently they are more likely to do the same. This is the only way we can help others to realize changes in their attitudes and lives.
How often do we hear the phrase “one person can make a difference”? Each big change starts with one small step. Somebody just has to make that first step.
When you give esteem toward the people you meet during your day you don’t always see the consequences. A life maxim says: do something positive with perseverance and conviction and after a certain time your little action will generate positive results.
Big or small, change can begin with one step, or in this case a dance step. One happy person, listening to music and dancing freely in a meadow keeps on dancing until he’s created a whole chain reaction. This is a great lesson to carry with us when we think about making esteemful actions.
When we want to make the step toward more esteem in our life this means that we have to make some changes in our lives. But making changes isn’t always easy.
There’s a great piece of writing that captures the process of change perfectly. It’s from “An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson.
Chapter One: I walk down the street and come to a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in; I feel lost – helpless – but it’s not my fault. It takes forever to find my way out.
Chapter Two: I walk down the same street and come to a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it, and fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place – but it wasn’t my responsibility. It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three: I walk down the same street and come to a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it – but I still fall in. By now it’s a habit. But my eyes are open; I know where I am. I take full responsibility. I get out immediately.
Chapter Four: I walk down the same street and come to deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Chapter Five: I walk down another street.
We’d call the other street in chapter five the street of a life full of esteem.
There are times when it’s wise to let things as they are. There are other times when we should make changes in our life. The hard part is deciding which to choose.
Sometimes we don’t want that things to change because the known makes us feel safe – even when a change would improve our situation.
Esteem gives us safety feelings because we get acknowledgment for what we are and what we do. We are freer to let our knowledge grow about ourselves and about our situation.
When we develop esteem in our daily life we’ll see that esteem is always open for the new. The decision we have to make can be based on the self-esteem grown through esteem we received and esteem we’ve given.