Tag Archives: empathy

Self-esteem and beauty

Self-esteem tends to beautify us and our life.

We can confirm this statement when we picture those people who have a strong self-esteem.  Don’t they smile often and always seem to be happy?  These are the people we like to be around because they radiate serenity.  In their eyes we recognize a mellow beauty which attracts us to them.

We recognize somebody as beautiful who emanates patience, calmness and empathy.  We perceive beauty when we receive esteem from these people.

Self-esteem and beauty have a strong connection.  Having a strong self-esteem makes people look and behave beautiful.  This radiant kind of beauty has nothing to do with an artificially created beauty which has only an emptiness behind it.

Real beauty is always perceived by seeing and feeling, the same as with a strong self-esteem.

Self-esteem and selfishness

Some people say that self-esteem is a form of being self-centered.

There is one big difference between self-esteem and selfishness.  It’s empathy.

Empathy is the connection between us and others because it makes us interested in and respectful toward others.  When we have genuine self-esteem we have empathy. 

Selfishness on the other hand is self-centered and not interested in others.  Selfishness doesn’t know empathy.

This is the essential difference between self-esteem and selfishness: having or not having empathy.

Self-esteem and judgement

At first glance it might be easier to determine what kind of self-esteem others have than to recognize our own self-esteem.  People may even speak about the self-esteem of others as an instrument of power.

In fact nobody can see everything inside another person.  We can’t make judgements about somebody else’s self-esteem.  This should make us cautious when we hear people speaking about others. 

On the other hand we can experience an increase on our own self-esteem when we offer positive words about other people and their self-esteem freely and honestly.  Speaking well of others with empathy makes our self-esteem grow.

Esteem for autistic children

Children with autism touch the heart because it interferes with our ability to be social.

Human beings need verbal communication and other kinds of social interaction.  We seek reactions and the feeling that we’re respected, that we get esteem.

It’s also easy to give esteem when we see a positive reaction.  Autistic children usually can’t satisfy our need for this answer.  Nevertheless they need to get esteem just like everybody else.

There are organizations dedicated to giving autistic children and their parents as much esteem as possible.  The Autistic Children’s Activity Program A.C.A.P. is one of numerous agencies providing life skill training, recreational experiences and family support.


Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day

We can give esteem without any outer reason on any day in the year.  We also can give esteem on special days such as the Valentine’s Day.

It is not a coincidence that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in spring, the time of new beginnings.

When we show our appreciation toward love ones on Valentine’s Day we create good feelings, gratefulness and happiness in ourselves and others.  It’s like a new beginning.  We can do that as well each day with esteemful actions.

By giving esteem we give honest appreciation and deep compassion creating encouraging new beginnings for both, the esteem giver and esteem receiver.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  We can make it the first day for numerous new beginnings filled with esteem.


Self-esteem and shyness

Some people believe that being shy is a sign of low self-esteem.   But what does shyness really mean and what leads a person toward a high self-esteem?

Being shy can be a reaction to being hurt or humiliated.  It can be used as a way to prevent further pain.  In this case shyness goes together with a low self-esteem.

But being shy can also be a character trait.  In this case it means being introverted instead of extroverted.  Shy people are generally less communicative, quieter and often more observant.  They can have a high self-esteem, knowing themselves as a calm and introverted character and accepting themselves as they are.

Being shy isn’t necessarily a sign of low self-esteem.  Shy people with a healthy self-esteem know that already. 

Self-esteem for nurses

The nursing profession has much to offer those who pursue it as a career.   Often it’s just the satisfaction of helping and serving in a position vital to a community.

The demands of the job are many and varied.  Patience, understanding, calmness, friendliness and not the least of all, extensive medical knowledge.

Often patients fail to give esteem toward nurses and their precious work because they are distracted by pain, fear and maybe even money concerns.

This lack of acknowledgement can create difficult moments for nurses.  Many nurses who leave the field cite this lack of esteem as a primary reason.

Having uplifting work, and the esteem of those whom they serve is a recipe for building strong self-esteem and ultimately happiness.


Esteem rejoices in the truth

Can we agree to define truth as opposite of injustice? 

Perhaps it becomes more clear when we try to express it with other words such as sincerity, veracity, integrity and justness.

There is no question that esteem and truth are closely connected with each other.  Each helper word we used to explain truth we can use also to express esteem.

Often we distinguish between esteem as reward and genuine esteem.  Esteem as reward seems to be superficial and non-durable.  This kind of “esteem” can sometimes cooperate with injustice.

Genuine esteem on the other hand brings truth with it, shows reliability and empathy.

When we experience truth in our life we rejoice in it because we are connected to genuine esteem – for others and for us.

Esteem doesn’t act improperly

What is it that makes esteem act always properly?

Acting properly means we don’t offend someones feelings.  There is one safe attitude which encourages us to act properly: esteem.

Esteem activates our empathy toward others.  It wakes our interest in what our fellow men think and feel.  The more interested we are the more we get to know about the others.  The more we know them the less we wish to offend their feelings.

Esteem has two directions: giving and getting.  Giving esteem is carried by empathy and empathy can only act properly.  Getting esteem happens when we act as we would like others to act toward us.

So empathy is the reason why esteem always acts properly.  Esteem works with empathy and empathy creates esteem.


Is calmness a sign of self-esteem?

Persons with a high self-esteem create the impression that they are calm.  Even when the world around them seems to be agitated and nervous they stay seemingly serene.

Is calmness a sign of self-esteem?  As with so many other questions about esteem and self-esteem the answers aren’t only yes or no.  Self-esteem is a life attitude and life is never just yes or no.  Let’s take a closer look at what sorts of calmness we can encounter.

Calmness is most often not a sign of self-esteem when it’s based on carelessness and emotional distance.  There are persons who distance themselves from trouble without any interest in other people’s situation.

On the other hand, calmness may be a real sign of self-esteem if it goes together with empathy and interest.  When people lose control or panic, a person with high self-esteem can convey a feeling of calmness in order to go safely through rough times.

Calmness emitted from a high self-esteem is always helping and caring.  There is one sure sign of knowing what kind of calmness we encounter: it’s our own feeling.  We feel immediately if calmness is based on indifference or on compassion.