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Esteem always encourages

Encouraging the heart Kouzes Posner

In moments of success and good fortune giving esteem seems to be natural.  We’re used to acknowledging a successful action.  It’s easy to praise positive moments.

But esteem is genuine when it’s also given in life’s difficult moments.  When people fail in their activities a word of esteem can be incredibly encouraging.

Continue reading Esteem always encourages

Esteemful acts of Lydia Pendley

“Any person who in any way suffers because of hunger or suffers because of poverty — that affects me. We are in a world that is truly interconnected and we need to all realize that we play a role. No matter what we do, small or large, whether it’s dramatic or not — all contributes.”

These are the words of 66-year-old Lydia Pendley of Santa Fe, NM who has dedicated her life to helping others.

Her esteemful actions are based on her respect for the dignity of every human being and her desire to work for peace and justice in the world.

Lydia Pendley celebrated her last few birthdays a little different than most of us.  She registered her party as an event on Stand Up Against Poverty Day.  She asked her guests to make a donation instead of bringing gifts and collected more than $2,100.

Lydia Pendley has found her unique expression of giving esteem as a sign against poverty.  Her dedication and esteemful actions encourages other people to follow her example and express esteem in a similar way.

Esteem doesn’t look away

There are moments in life when we come face to face with people who’ve suffered a disastrous situation.  For some of us it may be difficult to act appropriately.

Lived esteem gives us the courage to help in ways that we are able during these difficult moments.

When we integrate esteem into our daily life we’re already used to living respect. 

We already know how important it is to take care of other people and how much our solidarity encourages them.

With esteem we don’t look away when people are in distress.

Esteem always encourages

When we break down the word “encouragement” we find the word “courage” in it.  Encouraging others means planting the seed of courage in their lives.

We can experience this by giving esteem.  Encouraging esteem can have the form of a heartening smile as well as  comforting words.  Esteem creates the feeling of being supported – by being accepted.

Giving esteem always means giving attention.  Just by receiving attention people feel themselves as being precious, which in turn causes them to be more self-sure about what they are and what they are doing.  Isn’t there any better expression of encouragement?  People who receive esteem receive courage for their own life, for their own personality.  Sometimes they need just a small sign of esteem to realize that they’re on the right way.

Through your esteem toward people you plant the seed of courage in them.

Esteem gives new hope

It’s easy to give esteem to somebody in a moment of success or happiness.  It’s no problem to acknowledge great life moments, positive actions or friendly words.  But what about esteem for moments of failure?  How can we acknowledge when somebody falls?

Esteem for moments of failure doesn’t acknowledge the failure itself but its effect on the people involved.  Failure happens to everybody because nobody is perfect.  Esteem highlights this fact and encourages us to pick ourselves up and go on.

The great effect of esteem in moments like this: it creates motivation to do it better the next time.  When people receive esteem in sad moments they receive with it hope that this moment won’t last forever.

With esteem we can help people in realizing what Confucius said: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”


Esteem for mistakes

Theodore Roosevelt one said: “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.”

When we give esteem to people we acknowledge their efforts, their work.  On the other hand we give esteem toward people just as acknowledgment for being here without any external reasons.

This means that ultimately that we also give esteem even when somebody makes mistakes. 

Esteem can encourage when it’s given in moments of imperfection.  We give esteem for mistakes – not in order to encourage making mistakes but to strengthen the self-esteem of the individual.  When people receive esteem even in moments of imperfection they are freer to handle it in a mature way – making their self-esteem grow.

Be inspired – the right way

It’s easy to fall into the habit of constantly comparing ourselves with others.  This eternal comparing can be destructive for our self-esteem because it leads us away from ourselves.

Every single person is a unique personality with their own talents.  How can you compare two beings that are unique?

There are moments in life where it’s helpful to learn how other people handle life’s challenges.  We can choose to emulate them as our model.

We can still maintain our own personality while learning from the experience of others and applying that knowledge to our own life.

Inspiring examples can help encourage our self-esteem.

Can we change other people?

We don’t change other people, people change themselves.  But a healthy self-esteem can be a positive example to encourage others to make their own changes.

Having a high self-esteem means that we are self-confident in what we are and what we do in a healthy way.  This means that we don’t overestimate our abilities but that we have a deep self-understanding of failure and success as being part of our life.  This life wisdom emerges from a high self-esteem and can help people around us to undertake the effort for a positive change in their own lives.

We often experience that it’s easier to lead by example than by words.  When people see us handling life situations calmly and self-confidently they are more likely to do the same.  This is the only way we can help others to realize changes in their attitudes and lives.

Esteem is encouragement instead of correction

Correcting people may be difficult when we want to do it with esteem because too often they aren’t able to accept criticism.  On the other hand a correction can really be helpful and sometimes even expected among friends.

Instead of correcting people we can choose to encourage them.  Through encouragement we can still be helpful but in a very esteemful way.

Encouragement means that we put the point of attention on the part which can be improved.  Correction means that we give more weight to the part which shouldn’t be done anymore.

An esteemful approach for helping always chooses encouragement over correction.

Quotations about esteem

We found five great quotations that describe the importance of esteem, each in different ways.  Let’s take a look at what some well-known individuals have said about esteem. 

  • Voltaire: Esteem is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
  • Anonymous: A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
  • Mother Teresa: There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. 
  • Orison Swett Marden: There is no investment you can make which will pay you so well as the effort to scatter sunshine and good cheer through your establishment.
  • Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable.

These are people who knew the importance of esteem in daily life.