San Francisco State University psychologists have found that buying life experiences makes people happier than buying possessions. What does that mean “buying life experiences”? It means buying concert tickets or a weekend away, rather than hitting the mall for material items.
“We know that being an ‘experience shopper’ is linked to greater well being,” said Howell, whose 2009 paper on purchasing experiences challenged the adage that money can’t buy happiness. He suggests it could be easier to change your spending habits than your personality traits. “Even for people who naturally find themselves drawn to material purchases, our results suggest that getting more of a balance between traditional purchases and those that provide you with an experience could lead to greater life satisfaction and well being.”
What do you think about this idea?
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” This proverb of Confucius expresses an attitude which can be applied to esteem as well as life generally.
As long as we integrate esteem into our life on a daily basis we can’t go wrong. Esteem step by step means that it’s better to give small or just one sign of esteem but to give it daily instead of giving a lot of signs of esteem on one day and nothing at the following days.
Each new habit we want to let grow in our life needs this kind of attitude: going slowly but steadily instead of doing a lot and then stopping. Esteem can become part of our life when we live it step by step.
Remaining in old habits keeps us from being creative and innovative. Creativity means that we try new things, and we are filled with wonder.
Making only either-or-decisions each day keeps us in tight narrow lines of thinking.
Developing new habits means leaving the paths of old habits and this always means leaving our comfort level. The rewards of breaking old habits are great – such as keeping a healthy brain. Brain researchers have discovered that varying your daily routine can help keep your mind healthy and active.
Each day we try to live esteem we are developing new habits. Each day we create happiness around us and keep ourselves healthy!
When we integrate esteem in our life we experience an inner calmness which we also call serenity.
To be able to reach serenity we need to clear out our minds. In fact it’s like clearing out our homes from clutter. The clutter in our homes shows that we can’t let go of things. We collect them and we bind ourselves to them.
In our mind we do the same, we can’t let go thoughts, memories, habits and attitudes.
Just by letting go of one binding thought we immediately feel freedom and calmness. This small step makes us open enough to allow esteem to enter in our life. And even better: the more we live esteem, the more we are able to clear out our mind and live a life in calmness and serenity.
We encounter open-mindedness when we meet people free of prejudice, and who are tolerant, curious of life and modern thinking.
One of the best descriptions of open-mindedness is that it’s a state of being ready to accept new ideas. Being open-minded means being interested in other people, other cultures and other ideas.
How can we develop this precious character trait which obviously can make it easier for us to live esteem in our life?
To develop open-mindedness we can exercise tolerance toward ourselves and toward others. We can expose ourselves to foreign cultures, other ideas – or in other words to everything which at first glance seems strange to us.
Consider that our own habits, culture and our attitudes could be strange to others too and that we expect open-mindedness from others makes us move toward being open-mindedness.
Next time you encounter a new idea, a foreign tradition or just another opinion you can try to hold back spontaneous prejudices and rejection and exercise open interest and esteem.
Many people find themselves struggling with addiction.
Very often people only realize their addictions when they discover that they can’t live without it.
When addictions appear in our lives the deeper reason is often our craving for esteem and happiness.
Every human being desires to get esteem just for his being here.
Lack of esteem can lead someone to find a distraction from their suffering, which can easily become an addiction.
Giving esteem freely leads to getting genuine esteem ourselves, making us happy and self-confident. The answer to addiction is esteem.
To continue yesterday’s post about what kinds of esteem we can get we now focus on the kind of esteem we give toward others.
We can ask ourselves if we give esteem with a certain purpose. Do we have ulterior motives when we give esteem to somebody? We might hope that our acknowledgement of somebody yields an benefit of some kind for us. In this case it isn’t esteem we give, instead it’s a calculating act.
Another intention to give esteem could be that we expect being acknowledged ourselves. We are, in effect, making clear that we are the ones deserving esteem.
Each time we acknowledge somebody else for a certain reason it can’t be genuine esteem. Since we can also sense what kind of esteem we get, we can be sure that others feel if the esteem we give is genuine or not.
As long as we haven’t integrated esteem in our life as a daily habit we can just enjoy the thought that we create a good feeling in others by giving esteem for free. Giving genuine esteem means that we don’t expect anything in return.
Our list of five steps necessary for integrating esteem in our lives continues with esteem in our social life.
Living esteem in our social life
Our social life means is every contact we have with others outside of our work. We spend time with our friends, our club fellow members, our neighbors and even our relatives. The better we know the people of our social life the harder it can be to give whole-hearted esteem. We believe we know others and their habits and this knowledge can make us sometimes narrow-hearted.
To be able to live esteem in our social life it can be helpful to consider the attitudes which make it easy to give esteem toward our friends, relatives or neighbors.
The first attitude we embrace with our living esteem is being light-hearted. This means that we beam happiness through our words and actions. Everybody around us deserves our smile. Being light-hearted is not only a polite act toward others, it’s more. When we take esteem serious we find that everybody is precious in those moments we spend time together. Life happens in each moment, not before and not after.
Continue reading Path for living esteem, Part 3: esteem in our social life
Continuing our list of five steps necessary for integrating esteem in our lives. Part 1 about Self-esteem as a basis for each step toward esteem leads us into today’s theme – Esteem at home.
Living esteem at home
However our private life looks like we have each day numerous opportunities to live esteem at home.
The people in our lives have their own life philosophy and life experiences. Our first step toward esteem at home gives acknowledgment to that fact. As we wrote some days before, imagining one day in the shoes of the other helps us to understand their lives and thoughts.
Living esteem at home embraces patience for our children of any age, for our partner and spouse and even for our neighbors. Patience gives us time to develop empathy for them. Empathy is an important step toward esteem.
There is a basic adjective for this attitude: unconditional. Living esteem at home means that we give unconditional acknowledgment to our family, the persons we care about. They don’t need to gain our esteem, they don’t need to do something to get esteem.
Continue reading Path for living esteem, Part 2: esteem at home
Speaking about politeness might seem to be old fashioned. Some people consider being polite as being shallow.
If you bump against somebody you can be polite and excuse yourself or you can move on without a word.
For the other person your being polite appears as esteem. You seem to be attentive. Politeness means showing that you care about your behavior toward other people.
As we discussed in a previous post about behavior and habit, being polite – even when it’s sometimes an automatic reaction – can become a habit.
Politeness is basic for all the other friendly and esteemful habits you’ll develop by integrating esteem consciously in your life.