There is an ancient Chinese proverb that goes: “When the wind of change blows, some people build walls, others build windmills.”
Change can cause people to become frightened. They want to stay with what’s known even when it’s rendered obsolete.
Life teaches us that the only constant is change. We make changes all the time, some big and some small. The big changes may be frightening because they mean that life will never be exactly the same.
Continue reading When the wind of change blows …
San Francisco State University psychologists have found that buying life experiences makes people happier than buying possessions. What does that mean “buying life experiences”? It means buying concert tickets or a weekend away, rather than hitting the mall for material items.
“We know that being an ‘experience shopper’ is linked to greater well being,” said Howell, whose 2009 paper on purchasing experiences challenged the adage that money can’t buy happiness. He suggests it could be easier to change your spending habits than your personality traits. “Even for people who naturally find themselves drawn to material purchases, our results suggest that getting more of a balance between traditional purchases and those that provide you with an experience could lead to greater life satisfaction and well being.”
What do you think about this idea?
Sometimes it’s difficult to deal with our past. Whatever experiences we had in the past, the greatness of our self-esteem appears in the part of our past we continue to integrate in our life.
Some of our past experiences can be helpful in certain moments of our present or future life. People with a strong self-esteem know that and use it for their development. Our self-esteem gives us enough inner strength and conviction to know which part of our past we need to leave behind us and which parts should be retained.
A strong self-esteem deals in a very balanced and healthy way with the past.
We encounter many situations in life that go against our wishes and make us uncomfortable.
This attitude comes from our desire to be able to control life as much as possible. The less control we have, the less comfortable we feel.
The truth is that a strong self-esteem frees us from this urge to control our life. A strong self-esteem takes life experiences just as they happen. With this attitude we define the experience itself and how we handle it.
Aldous Huxley explained this truth with the words: “Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.”
With this constructive attitude we find ourselves better able to handle life’s variety of experiences.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of constantly comparing ourselves with others. This eternal comparing can be destructive for our self-esteem because it leads us away from ourselves.
Every single person is a unique personality with their own talents. How can you compare two beings that are unique?
There are moments in life where it’s helpful to learn how other people handle life’s challenges. We can choose to emulate them as our model.
We can still maintain our own personality while learning from the experience of others and applying that knowledge to our own life.
Inspiring examples can help encourage our self-esteem.
Somebody said once: “To wish to be someone else is to waste the person we are”. This is a quote about strong self-trust and therefore strong self-esteem.
Self-trust is about being content with who we are. It can be tempting to look at other people and to wish we could be like them. At the same time life experience tells us that envying others in a comparing way only leads us away from ourselves.
It makes no sense to compare ourselves with others because there is no common base on which we could do it. Every human being is unique and therefore incomparable.
Just knowing this little life wisdom allows our self-trust to grow. Self-esteem grows inevitably on the basis of a strong self-trust.
We often hear the expression that Out of crisis comes opportunity, but in hard times it’s sometimes difficult to find the truth in this saying.
When we’re already integrating esteem into our daily life we can see this truth emerging out of life experiences. The more we live an esteemful life filled with understanding and patience the more we can go through hard times with a smile on our face.
Giving esteem to other people makes us aware of the preciousness of each moment in life. We experience daily how a given smile creates a smile back. Knowing this power of esteem we’re able to see the “opportunity created by crisis”. Esteem creates esteem – and this creates openness toward new paths and new opportunity.
The term Biophilia means “love of life or living systems”. It was first used by German philosopher Erich Fromm who defined it as being attracted to all that is alive.
Biophilia describes something we all experience in our life: it’s our subconscious search for the connection to nature by enjoying the diversity of life on earth. With other words: human beings’ deep affiliation with nature must be rooted in our biology.
Biophilia can also just be another word for esteem toward nature.
There are moments in our life when we realize our connection to nature. It can be something as simple as observing a beautiful butterfly.
We experience our esteem toward nature as feelings of respect, of admiration and of responsibility.
In moments of success and good fortune giving esteem seems to be natural. We’re used to acknowledging a successful action. It’s easy to praise positive moments.
But esteem is genuine when it’s also given in life’s difficult moments. When people fail in their activities a word of esteem can be incredibly encouraging.
Esteem encourages in both life situations: success and failure, but probably more in moments of failure.
Remember: A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
Human beings learn from each other. As children we learn from our parents, teachers and schoolmates.
We learn from others our entire lives.
There is no doubt that our development depends on the role-models we have in front of us.
Considering this we can say that esteem as a role-model creates more esteem. When children experience that their parents live esteem toward others, then they learn to do just the same.
You can be a role-model as a parent when you live esteem toward your children. When children get a “thank you” for being helpful, they’ll do the same in return.
Esteem as a role-model has a significant impact on children as well as the parents who give them esteem.