Tag Archives: self-knowledge

Push your limits

The speed and manner of how we develop ourselves often depends on how courageously we push our own limits.

For self-knowledge it’s important to know what we’re capable of doing but also to know our limits.  A healthy self-esteem works inside these limits as a consequence of knowing and accepting our own capabilities.

But there are moments in life when we have to push our limits for healthy growth of our personality.

Motivational speaker Tom Krause expressed it with the following words: ” If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.”

Being able to push our own limits in a healthy way is important and needs to have its place in our life in order to let our personality and self-esteem grow.

High self-esteem defeats loneliness

When we say that a high self-esteem defeats loneliness we don’t mean that you’ll never be alone.

There is an important difference between between being lonely and being alone which is defined by the strength of our self-esteem.

We can’t be lonely with a high self-esteem.  Dr. Wayne Dyer expressed it this way:  “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with”.

A high self-esteem makes us content with ourselves.  Knowing and liking ourselves allows us to be alone without feeling lonely.

Don’t get upset by embarrassing moments

Embarrassment can happen anytime.  All of us have experienced this feeling at least once in our lives.  Some people deal so easily with embarrassing moments that we wonder how they do it.

How much we take embarrassing moments to heart depends on our self-confidence.

A strong self-confidence tells us that we shouldn’t take life and ourselves too seriously.  When it’s not important what other people think of us we don’t take embarrassing moments so hard.

Having a strong self-confidence means having a strong self-esteem.  We don’t need to compare ourselves to find out who we are and how good we are.  A strong self-esteem means we don’t get upset by embarrassing moments.

How to take care of our self-esteem

You know exactly what to do when you want to lose weight.  You eat healthier and exercise more.

Do you know what to do to raise your self-esteem?

There’s a surprisingly simple idea for how to raise your self-esteem: be conscious of yourself.  In certain life situations you have to ask yourself “how do I experience myself in this situation?” Self-esteem is based on self-knowledge.  The more we understand ourselves the stronger our self-esteem will be.

Taking care of your self-esteem means putting more attention on how we experience ourselves in life situations.  With desire and perseverance the result will be strong self-esteem.

Self-esteem carries Self-confidence

Group pressure is something each of us experience at least once in our life. The time in life when group pressure is most significant is during our teenage years.

Succumbing to group pressure is a negative expression of wanting to be accepted by a group.  This is a very social and natural drive in us. How can we handle group pressure without losing our unique identity?

Continue reading Self-esteem carries Self-confidence

Intuition as inner guide

Intuition is little known part of our personality.  According to its Latin roots it means “in to you”.  This may be the reason why so many people don’t know anything about it – it’s hidden in us.

Intuition is like an inner voice that inexplicably points us in a certain direction.

When we learn to rely on external advice to find our way through life we reduced our ability to listen to this inner voice.

Intuition doesn’t always give us the whole answer, it only gives a hint, a mysterious picture or a certain feeling.

To be able to listen to our intuition and even more to give it an important place in our life we need to have a healthy self-esteem.

Having a high self-esteem means that we have also a strong self-knowledge.  When self-esteem and self-knowledge handle each other with love and acceptance we recognize our personality analytically but also intuitively.

A high elf-esteem boosts our intuition.  Intuition, once accepted, can lead us wisely on our way through life.   This trust helps to develop our self-esteem even more.

Self-esteem and intuition are like twins, sometimes separated but always wishing to be close to each other.


Rankings work by comparison

It seems like today there is no area of life free of competition, rankings or ratings.  Whether it’s sports, art, education, a job or even a family gathering.  At this time of the year, one of the best examples of rankings center place in culture is American Idol.

Rankings work by comparison.  Who is smarter, more skillful or just better – we compare others ceaselessly.

For ourselves, rankings mean making outer judgments which can hurt our self-esteem.

When we want to keep our self-esteem strong we can develop a serene and calm attitude toward rankings.

Realizing that all rankings and all judgements made through comparisons are just outer views we understand that none of them can embrace our whole personality.

With our self-knowledge and self-confidence we can be indifferent to rankings because we know that they don’t touch our real self.

Self-esteem and self-handicapping

The word “self-handicapping” was first used in psychological studies 30 years ago.  It describes a certain attitude of how people handle failures.

Self-handicapping is about cheating ourselves.  When facing failure people can make all kinds of excuses without acknowledging that they could have done more to achieve success.

Self-handicapping means that people defend themselves by talking about all the reasons why they couldn’t possibly succeed.

A high self-esteem doesn’t know this self-handicapping attitude.  With a high self-esteem we don’t need to defend our failure because we have enough self-confidence to know that we did our best.

We don’t need to find excuses when something doesn’t work out as we thought.  Our self-esteem, based on self-knowledge, gives us confidence and calmness.

For a person with a healthy self-esteem failure never means loss of esteem because giving ourselves esteem always means having strength to face new goals and new efforts toward success.


Do you celebrate yourself?

Celebrations normally means a joyous occasion with others on important days like birthdays and holidays.

Celebration can also mean that we celebrate ourselves.  Celebrating ourselves may sound selfish, but in a healthy way it isn’t self-serving at all.

A high self-esteem expresses itself from a healthy self-love.  We know the sentence of the bible: you shall love your fellow man as yourself.

A healthy self-love strengthens our self-esteem and leads us toward understanding and esteem for others.

As long as we are comfortable with ourselves, as long as we have a good self-knowledge and self-confidence, we can give esteem toward others.

Making others happy makes us happy and this is the genuine meaning of celebrating ourselves.


Esteem doesn’t get worked up

Our lives are filled with emotional moments of all kinds from sad to happy. 

We know how important it is to be able to express our emotions.  With a high self-knowledge we can handle our emotions without being disturbed or disturbing others.

When are emotions disturbing?  The answer is simple: when we lose control.  These are moments when we get worked up and negatively affected by our emotions. 

Now let’s imagine we feel esteemed and therefore happy.  We can’t get worked up anymore.   Esteem is like magic because it makes us patient, calm and understanding.  All these attitudes prevent us from being worked up.  If we get esteem or give esteem we create an atmosphere of understanding and this stops us being worked up. 

When we’re tempted toward those negative emotions, let’s just think for a moment that it’s always us deciding to lose control.  We’ll realize that being worked up doesn’t help us and anybody else.  With that we bring esteem into the moment and give ourselves and the people around us the chance to express true emotions.