What is it about success that makes everybody want to have it?
Let’s take a look at the moments in our life where we experienced success. It can be success in our job, in a relationship, in hobby or sport – wherever we achieved success it was just a great feeling. We want to repeat it as often as possible.
In our search for this repeat-craving life moment we ask ourselves: what positive feeling do we exactly experience when we achieve success?
Continue reading Esteem and success
If you’ve visited the Nobel Prize website recently you’ll notice that almost each day a new Nobel Prize winner is announced. There is hardly another prize which draws more public attention to itself and embraces so many parts of society, art and science like the Nobel Prize.
Each year we like to follow the announcements of new winners and mention them when we can. The prize is a huge public sign of esteem for work that is most often the result of lifelong dedication.
Nobel Prizes are given to selected personalities who demonstrated knowledge, perseverance and success in their efforts.
While we give esteem toward these Nobel Prize winners through public attention we can also give esteem to the numerous people who work behind the scenes. A Nobel Prize winning success is always the result of the work and enthusiasm of many people. They all deserve esteem for their efforts.
It’s easy to give esteem to somebody in a moment of success or happiness. It’s no problem to acknowledge great life moments, positive actions or friendly words. But what about esteem for moments of failure? How can we acknowledge when somebody falls?
Esteem for moments of failure doesn’t acknowledge the failure itself but its effect on the people involved. Failure happens to everybody because nobody is perfect. Esteem highlights this fact and encourages us to pick ourselves up and go on.
The great effect of esteem in moments like this: it creates motivation to do it better the next time. When people receive esteem in sad moments they receive with it hope that this moment won’t last forever.
With esteem we can help people in realizing what Confucius said: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”
Everybody wants to have success in life. To be able to realize success in our life it’s important to know what success means to us.
Success has two sides. One side is the result of success. It’s what we all ultimately want by wishing success: esteem, recognition and acknowledgment.
The other side is success in what we’re doing. This part of success is individually different because it depends on our talents.
The stronger our self-esteem, the more we know who we are and in what we’re really good.
With a strong self-esteem we don’t need to look at other people’s life to find out what success means. We know our abilities and talents and therefore we know what kind of success we want for ourselves. This path leads us to truly fulfilling success in life.
We don’t change other people, people change themselves. But a healthy self-esteem can be a positive example to encourage others to make their own changes.
Having a high self-esteem means that we are self-confident in what we are and what we do in a healthy way. This means that we don’t overestimate our abilities but that we have a deep self-understanding of failure and success as being part of our life. This life wisdom emerges from a high self-esteem and can help people around us to undertake the effort for a positive change in their own lives.
We often experience that it’s easier to lead by example than by words. When people see us handling life situations calmly and self-confidently they are more likely to do the same. This is the only way we can help others to realize changes in their attitudes and lives.
In moments of success and good fortune giving esteem seems to be natural. We’re used to acknowledging a successful action. It’s easy to praise positive moments.
But esteem is genuine when it’s also given in life’s difficult moments. When people fail in their activities a word of esteem can be incredibly encouraging.
Esteem encourages in both life situations: success and failure, but probably more in moments of failure.
Remember: A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
Texas high school student Bonnie Richardson is once more the best small high school track team in Texas.
Yes, you’ve read right, the best track team is one girl.
Bonnie Richardson won the Class A girls team state title last Saturday by herself beating 56 other schools. Bonnie is the only member of the Rochelle High School track team.
Last year Bonnie became the first girl in state history to win a team title solo.
Her achievement is even more amazing when you look at how she had to train. The Rochelle High School is so small that it has no proper track for Richardson. She had to run on a path of hard rutted , soil. Rochelle administrators were amused when other track coaches in the state asked about the “caliche path” track. Her coach suggested that they probably shouldn’t make the switch.
Bonnie Richardson is an extraordinary athlete who deserves esteem.
The word “self-handicapping” was first used in psychological studies 30 years ago. It describes a certain attitude of how people handle failures.
Self-handicapping is about cheating ourselves. When facing failure people can make all kinds of excuses without acknowledging that they could have done more to achieve success.
Self-handicapping means that people defend themselves by talking about all the reasons why they couldn’t possibly succeed.
A high self-esteem doesn’t know this self-handicapping attitude. With a high self-esteem we don’t need to defend our failure because we have enough self-confidence to know that we did our best.
We don’t need to find excuses when something doesn’t work out as we thought. Our self-esteem, based on self-knowledge, gives us confidence and calmness.
For a person with a healthy self-esteem failure never means loss of esteem because giving ourselves esteem always means having strength to face new goals and new efforts toward success.
“Imperfection is inherent to each human being”. Isn’t this a calming thought? We don’t need to be perfect because being imperfect is part of mankind. But this doesn’t mean we should settle back and relax. There is something at work in us pushing again and again to improve ourselves – it’s called self-esteem.
When we’re honest we perceive that despite being imperfect we can always move forward.
There are two encouraging ways to look at our imperfection:
The most obvious happens when we make mistakes. We say something inappropriate or do something wrong because we’re distracted, tired or focused on ourselves.
The other side of imperfection occurs when we achieve a goal. Sounds illogical? It isn’t really. After having completed a goal successfully we first feel satisfaction and pride, but almost immediately we feel the urge to move on. Success makes us move on, do better, improve ourselves.
With high self-esteem we can allow ourselves to be imperfect. Self-esteem supports us when we make mistakes by encouraging us to do it better next time. It’s also a sign of a healthy self-esteem when after having had success we feel that our imperfection pushes us toward new goals.
One definition of “win-win-solution” says that “it emphasizes the importance of cooperation, fun, sharing, caring and over-all group success in contrast to domination, egotistic behavior and personal gain”. Doesn’t this sound like a definition of esteem?
In win-win solutions “all involved persons are treated as equally important and valuable”. This is exactly what esteem is meant to be.
When one party is only looking out for their own interest esteem doesn’t work. To create esteem through a win-win-solution means having empathy for the other party.
There are many studies of social behavior showing that a win-win-attitude becomes important when people want to build a relationship. In other words: trying to get a win-loose solution creates a winner, but a lonely winner.
As human beings we’re deeply social. We need esteem for our private and social happiness. Creating win-win-situations is a very effective way of living esteem.