This might sound a little out there “Learn to tolerate your self-esteem”, but it actually nails it.
Low self-esteem is usually due to a psychological attachment to being perceived in a negative light. By constantly seeing you in a negative light you learned a powerful lesson – that your existence is a negative.
The real problem though lies in the fact that as child you trusted the opinion of others and now you continue to trust the judgments of others. At this point, the black hole of negativity in your psyche is quite powerful and you may have a very difficult time shaking the emotional attachment to all the negativity.
Continue reading Learn to tolerate your self-esteem
People with a strong self-esteem show higher trust in other people than persons with lower self-esteem.
It’s no doubt that without trust in other people we wouldn’t be able to live a normal life. We have to trust while we drive that the other drivers are driving as cautiously as we are. Even more important is our trust in the people who share our lives.
Having trust in other people is elementary to our life. That’s why we feel it so strongly when our trust is broken People with a strong self-esteem know that moments like this can happen but their strong self-esteem tells them also that there is no reason to lose trust totally.
A high self-esteem helps us to rebuild trust when it breaks and help others to be courageous enough to do same.
Charlie Chaplin wrote a poem on his 70th birthday on April 16, 1959.
It’s a great text about finding himself and growing his self-esteem. Here’s Part 1:
When I started loving myself
I’ve understood that I’m always and at any given opportunity
in the right place at the right time.
And I’ve understood that all that happens is right –
from then on I could be calm.
Today I know: It’s called TRUST.
When I started loving myself
I could recognize that emotional pain and grief
are just warnings for me to live against my own truth.
Today I know: It’s called AUTHENTICALLY BEING.
When I started loving myself
I have stopped longing for another life
and could see that everything around me was a request to grow.
Today I know: It’s called MATURITY.
We connect esteem strongly with understanding, open-mindedness and most of all trust. These traits motivate esteem to go on without stopping. Esteem can’t stop by default. There is no possible reason for esteem to stop ever. On the contrary, esteem is the one attitude which continues on against all doubt.
Esteem comes from a higher level because it’s based on genuine interest for our fellow men. Genuine esteem makes us trustful and broad-minded giving others another chance again and again.
Esteem aims at people’s most inner core, the place where we are truly ourselves, where no outer judgment can touch us. Esteem reaches us exactly there. Esteem isn’t given because we did something for it. We get esteem because we deserve it just by being here and now.
Realizing this truth of esteem allows us to see that there will be never a moment that causes esteem to stop. Esteem never stops.
Trusting in other people open-heartedly is considered by some as naivety or gullibility. We can also think of trusting in others as children do, with openness and basic kindness, just believing in the good in man as if there is no malevolence possible.
Including esteem in our life makes us believe the best about people. There is no suspicious thinking because our first intention toward people is always to give esteem.
Acknowledging others for their just being here, for their preciousness and unique abilities in an open-hearted way lets us see the good side in them.
It’s always our decision how we want to think about others. When we stay cautious toward them we expect and attract possible negative reactions.
When we give others the trust of being kind-hearted and basically good we’ll receive positive reactions as an answer.
Esteem creates esteem through its trusting and believing in the good in man.
As we mature through life esteem matures with us.
Esteem is more than just acting friendly in a superficial way. It means we accept that there are difficult moments in life. Esteem is able to carry us through the sad moments of life without breaking us.
Enduring all things with esteem means that we realize moments of fear, and of suffering because we know what life is all about. Esteem helps us combine hope and trust against life’s difficult situations.
Even the hardest life moments pass. But when the moment passes what lingers in our hearts are bad feelings, anger or sad thoughts.
Esteem helps us get beyond those feelings because we meet these moments with patience and understanding. The outcome is much better when met with esteem.
Everybody has at some point in their life learned that honesty always works out. Esteem is strongly connected with honesty.
When we are honest toward our fellow man we give the impression of being reliable. This feeling is important for being trusted because then we can speak without having to prove that our words are true.
We want to include esteem in our lives. For that it’s essential that we are honest. Esteem needs reliability to be genuine.
Living esteem daily means therefore that honesty is one of our habits. Only when we show that we are honest can our fellow men trust our esteem toward them.
Self-confidence is strongly connected to self-esteem. We could say that self-esteem is the basic inner part and self-confidence is the outgoing active part.
There could be an inner dialog between self-esteem, self-confidence and you: Your self-esteem tells you: you’d really like to develop your talent, it makes you happy working with your talent, Your self-confidence answers: yes, you can trust yourself, indeed you’re capable of doing it, so what are you waiting for?
With such a strong self-esteem you know about your abilities. You don’t just believe that you can do it, you know that you can do it well.
Having this kind of self-esteem your self-confidence can grow and pushes you toward living and expressing your talents.
You can trust yourself and your abilities. This is the message of the connection between self-esteem and self-confidence.